An Insider's Look

These are in no particular order.

Foggy morning :)

 Dining Hall (top floor), Lecture/Worship Room (bottom floor)

 Rebekka!

 Some of the guys!

 Abigail!

 Volleyball Gaaaaame

 My Arizonian, Alica!!

 Silas, from Denmark!

 Naomi, from Oregon!

 Nathan, from England!

 Emily, from the States!

 My cabin, aka 'North Pole'

My first day in Toowoomba!

One of my roommates, Nikolai!

Sara, from Germany!

I am going to have to get me one of these!

There have been amazing rain showers and thunderstorms, but spring is on it's way!
I am slowly getting used to my camera :) 

His Sweet Love

You know that warm, fuzzy feeling that you get when you sip your favorite drink at Christmas time?  For some, it’s the seasonal Starbucks drink.  For me, it’s a cup of hot chocolate with a candy cane to stir it with.  As you indulge in that delicious drink it’s almost as if nothing else matters.  I think we could all agree that it does something to our mood and how we act.  {{Because let’s be honest… no Starbucks drink is good for our stomach – it’s our heart that benefits.}}

The reason I say this – is not to make you wish it was Christmas time already, but more of an attempt to describe what I have been feeling in my heart.

It’s that indescribable sweet feeling that changes the way you see things.  Suddenly what would irritate you doesn’t matter as much.  Suddenly you feel the urge to sing because you become carefree and slightly silly.  Suddenly you realize that in this world you can have hope.

Now I know this all can’t come from a drink, but like I said it’s my attempt to share what I have experienced.  I didn’t have my hot chocolate or any other drink that made me feel this sweetness deep in my core…no… I had an experience with the One True Living God.  It began on August 8^th and has since then spread.  It is happening so frequently now – that I think it’s here to stay.

God is moving. 

God is speaking. 

His love is great & His love is sweet. 

He is gentle. 

He is willing & able.

He is gracious and merciful.

God is a Lover.

This week was about repentance & forgiveness.  The majority of the time, I didn’t feel as if I had anything I hadn’t already laid at the foot of the cross.  But as time elapsed and I earnestly sought God out asking to see what areas of my life I have covered up… I realized that there were weeds that needed to be pulled out.  I have allowed hurt to seep into the cracks and become part of the foundation of who I am.  BUT NO MORE.  By the power of the Holy Spirit, I sat before my family here at YWAM and prayed.  I prayed hard.  Asking God to forgive me for the specific areas that He had brought to my attention earlier this week.

No more will I allow past situations to take control of my thoughts and actions.  Jesus Christ has saved and redeemed me!

Oh, the sweet sense and light-heartedness He brought to my heart!  The weeds were pulled out from my heart and the space that the roots were once taking up had suddenly become gaps that allowed His light to shine through and through!!  In doing so, I can hear God’s calling so much clearer now.  Before, it was as if His voice was muffled because of the unnecessary baggage I carried.  BUT NO MORE.  I was forgiven the moment Jesus died for my sins, but today I put my whole focus back on God. 

It was brought to my attention during lecture this week that people have two core needs: security and significance.  If we don’t find those in God, then we will find it somewhere else.  When we forgive and repent, our focus is put back on God and allows God to build character.  I am being refreshed and renewed by God daily.  I can feel how sweet it is to taste the Father’s love. God has the power to change your life, but only if you let Him in.  He gave us free will and love is a choice. God is a choice.

Outreach location revealed!

I am going to Lautoka, Fiji!!

     Last week we were told the three outreach locations that our DTS would be sending teams to.  As most of you know the outreach locations have been changing quite frequently and it wasn’t until last Wednesday that we found out the options. 

Those included: Malaysia, Fiji, and East Timor.

     Before Zac (our school leader) told us what the locations were, he advised us that we would have until the next morning to decide which destination we felt God was calling us to.  God made it so clear to me (& so quickly) that I could have decided before Zac was done talking.  As soon as the second location rolled off my leader’s tongue, I knew that was where God wanted me.  As Zac went further in detail with what ministries would be apart of each location, it only reassured me.

     In order to understand how God made it so obvious to me, you must know what our speaker challenged us to do the night before.  Our speaker, Josh Cole, asked us to say ‘yes’ to God.  Always.  To trust God and say ‘yes’ whenever He calls us, no matter where that might be because we can be certain that He is already there.  Earlier that day he told us a story of how he and his wife were debating on going to Fiji awhile back.  His wife’s was uncertain and a little skeptic at first because of the heat and humidity.  I could totally relate.  Anyone who knows me also knows that I absolutely love winter and tolerate the summer heat.  That being said, when Zac said for the first time that Fiji was an option I heard God reminding me that I told Him I would say ‘yes’ to wherever He wants me to go…that was the very hot and humid Fiji. 

As the ministries for Fiji were spoken, God confirmed this trip even more (and actually got me excited for it!).  We will have the opportunity to work with special needs children, prison ministries, with the locals in the jungle for a week, out on Yasawa Island, and with a doctor for a week. So good!! God has been stirring in me a heart for prison ministry ever since I got involved with Ventura Correctional Facility approximately nine months ago.  Also in Ventura, I was able to intern in a hospital and it was there I realized that it wasn’t my calling for a career because I am too personable.  I desire to have authentic relationships and pray over others for healing.  With this mission trip I will be able to assist a doctor and my sole purpose will be to love on them as Christ first loved us! {Is this real life?!?!} I can’t wait to get the opportunity to serve others and share the gospel with them! :)

Thank you for your constant prayer and support.  I don’t know what you’re doing exactly but whatever it is, it is working.  I am feeling encouraged, loved, supported and I am healthy.  Speaking of amazing health: I have not had a single headache since I had stepped foot into this camp! PRAISE GOD!!

I am so blessed already and I am excited to see what God has in store.  If you could please continue to pray, I would greatly appreciate it.  I still need to raise more funds in order to go to my outreach in Fiji, but I have faith God will provide.  That is how I got here :)

May God bless you for praying on my behalf. 

Filling the Gap

G’day! What a b-e-a-utiful day we are having in Toowoomba.  The sun is peaking out from behind the clouds and the air is a perfect 19 degrees Celsius (or 66* F) I love Sundays, I was able to sleep later and I definitely took advantage of it.  I did not want to move an inch when my alarm clock went off warning me breakfast is about to commence. It was one of those mornings where each blanket was perfectly placed. Ahhhh, perfection.

Last week was so eventful that I only wrote a fraction in my last blog.  So today… I want share more. 

     
Each morning after breakfast (Monday through Friday) we spend alone time with the Lord to do our personal devotions.  Following the quiet time, we do a range of different things (Base clean up, worship, prayer, small groups, etc.) depending on what day of the week it is.  On Wednesday's, we come together and do intercession.  Intercession is praying on the behalf of others.  For example, most recently we prayed for Israel as a nation.  It was so incredible.  Even though I have never been there nor do I know anyone there, God began to give me a heart for those living there.  The more I prayed for them to know Christ and submit their lives to Him, the more my heart ached for them.  Through this I learned that our God is amongst all the nations and He wants none to perish.  Having come to that conclusion, it has changed me to view all nationalities as God’s beloved. 

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Photo Credit: Alycia Walsh

Identity Being Shaken

Part 1: Wrote on Monday, August 4th (Australia)

Who are you? Why does God love you? 

Do you even believe that He loves you? 

How much does the Lord love you?

      
       Did you know…there is nothing you can do that will make God love you more or less than He does right now.  Focus on that for a minute.  Whether you read your bible daily, go to church weekly, or pray hourly, it will not change how the Father loves you.  We do those things for the sole purpose of wanting to know God more & fill the longing of our heart.  We were created by God with the purpose to love God.  The more we realize that, the more we crave community.  Where people gather so we can be encouraged by one another and in an environment that allows us to see more of who God really is.  But again, none of that will change how God loves you.

In today’s lecture, the speaker spoke about his six-week year old daughter, Eden.  Eden has caused them to loose countless hours of sleep, she is constantly making a mess by spitting up and pooping, she costs them heaps of money, she can’t help anyone else, and she is one hundred percent needy.  Yet…he has this unconditional love for her and heart pounding experience every time she is in his presence.  He went on to say that—when he and his wife eventually die, their daughter would receive everything they have.  This inheritance will be given to her only because she was born into his family and bears his last name.

God unconditionally loves you (even more than an earthly parent can love his daughter or son).  Why? Because you are an image bearer of God.  We are born again into the family of God by the bloodshed of Jesus Christ. He is our ultimate Father and created us in His image.  There is nothing we can offer God that He can’t do Himself; similar to how Eden can’t do anything for her parents.  Like I’ve mentioned before, there is nothing we can do that will make God love us more or less. His approval is not based on our performances nor should we believe the lie that God sees us in a hierarchy.  Whether you are a pastor or janitor, God loves you the same.  As God’s child you have access to the Kingdom, but even better…you have access to the King.  You know God as much as you want to know God. You have every opportunity to know God more. How? Just pick up the Bible and read it. I could talk so much more on that but that is another blog for another time.

I knew before I came here, that I was going to be taught what my identity is in Christ Jesus.  God made this clear to me along with a few other things that He wants to do in my heart.  For a few years now, I have tried to put God first, others second and myself third.  More specifically, I have tried to be less selfish.  This is especially challenging when I am home with the people I am most comfortable with, my family.  Let’s just say that I still haven’t come anywhere near perfection.  What I am trying to get across is, as a sinner I have prayed and practiced how to demonstrate love.  The kind of love that asks—what can I give and not what can I get?  So to enter into week two of my DTS and be bombarded with ways God identifies me…is quite the challenge.  In order for me to ask God, “Lord, how do you view me? Who do you say I am?” I am putting the spotlight back on myself.  That is the last thing that I want.  It makes me fear that I will take two steps back rather than one step forward.  I, Kristen Anne Doull, do not know how to draw the line between knowing how God sees me (how worthy and valuable and awesome I am!) and how to love like God (humbling myself and putting others first).

            I don’t have a nice cookie cutter answer for you or some amazing conclusion that I have come to.  But what I do know is God has just started to turn the page in this next chapter of my life.  In doing so, there have been many tears (when I say many…I mean many) and it has been causing me to sit quietly in His presence and listen.  This place is perfect for such an experience.  My story thus far is just scratching the surface with how God is moving in this place.  Each person here is being rocked, challenged and freed from bondage.  

 We are hungry for God.   

 & God is showing up.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Part 2: Wrote on Wednesday, August 6th (Australia) 

     There have been revelations happening today!!  I can't even put into words thee amount of emotions, prayers, and revelations happening in the past three days.  I will try my best to explain it to you because I would love nothing more than to share how God is moving! Let's talk about what happened all in this afternoon. 

Alright here it goes...

     There is so so so much information and teaching happening that nobody can believe it has only been a week and a half.  As the speaker described it perfectly when he said that, "DTS feels like you're drinking from a fire hydrant." The information is great and doesn't go unnoticed by the human heart.  If you recall from previous posts,  I knew that during this DTS God would reveal to me: who I am in Christ & knowing God more.  Today God spoke such gentle words to my heart and explained to me that they're close to the same thing.  

     I am in the family of God, I will inherit the promises of God and I have all access to Him. Going even deeper, I am made in Christ's image which means I am like Christ.  The Holy Spirit dwells within me which means God is in me.  Again I am like Christ.  These are simply truths that have been repeated in church and repeated in my heart, but they weren't alive until now!  As I learn who God is, I am learning who I am!! Naturally I was putting those two things in different categories when they really shouldn't be.  

Now... I am not saying I am God.  I don't think there will be a day where I can be in every place at once, but when I read things like: God is a light in all dark places or God has the authority to make the enemy leave a room, I can confidently say that He and I are the same.  I light up a room when I enter because dark is just the absence of light and I am light.  When I chose to speak life rather than death or... speak the word Jesus, all dark spirits vanish. I have power in my words.  

..........I could go on with another 1000 words just describing this afternoon and in time I'm sure I will. But if you get anything from what I've said so far, understand that God's not dead.  He is alive and moving.  For so long I had this false idea that when I was being still in the presence of God, God was also being still.  I unconsciously thought that when I just waited in His presence, I was sitting on park bench (figuratively) and He waited with me until I had enough strength to keep walking the path He has designed for me.  God does not stop working on my behalf.  Even if I am sitting down, I can say with great confidence that God is paving the path for me.  He does not stop there.  Even when I am asleep and doing nothing, He is still in motion.  God is speaking.  God's Word is alive and active.  God always has something to say, but are we making time to hear Him?      

 

I am His Princess.  I am a daughter.  I am His.  I am blameless.  I am pure.  I am wearing all white.  I am standing next to Him.  I am protected.  I will never be alone.  I have never been alone.  I always have Him watching over me.  I am an encourager.  I have a contagious laugh.  I have significance.  I have a beautiful smile.  I am free.  I am unbroken!!