Trying to tell you (or even myself in words) how the person who took complete control over “my” entire life and did supernatural things every day before my eyes cannot be described with our vocabulary. He simply can’t.
I can remember so clearly that my 2012 and 2013 New Years celebration I sat in amazement by what God had done in “my” life. As I attempt to grasp what has happened in 2014, I can’t even finish a single thought without being completely silenced, humbled, and in search for words. This life I used to hold as my own is now in the hands of the Father and as a result this year was the most impacting of all 22 years of living.
I’ve heard that:
You can know God as much as you want to know Him
and I’m here to tell you that I believe that statement is a fact.
This calendar year (by the grace of God) I graduated with a Bachelors in Biology(!) but even that looks insignificant compared to how God moved during my time with Youth With A Mission (YWAM). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I wasn’t happy to graduate. College was an answer to many prayers and for that I am so grateful. However, that being said, I did college for me and brought God along with.
I grew up in a culture that told me that I needed to graduate high school with a high g.p.a. (higher than others) so that I can get into a good college (better than others) so that I can get a great job (better than others) so that I can make money (paper) and somehow this is going to land me the success in life I had been dreaming of....But I just didn’t see how this can be true. Nevertheless, I did it any way. Again I’m not saying going to college is bad or that for a second I regret it, but my fulfillment will not be found in college or after as a result of my degree.
God meets us where it is best for both parties and in my case it was Toowoomba, Australia. God took me across the globe to do things He could have done right here in the High Desert, but thought He would go above and beyond because...He loves & His love is exciting. The Lord answered prayers I had been asking for years as well as the small ones I asked Him that day. Big or small, He cared about it all. For the last 6 months, God asked me if He was enough. I always said in my head that God was enough for me, but did my heart believe it as well? After an adventure (more like undergoing an operation) God transformed my heart and made it look a bit more like His. I had to lay down rights that I thought belonged to me and in return God gave me more of His Presence, which all along has been our hearts ultimate desire. That is all I could have ever hoped for and it is by His Grace that I can say all this.
A few months ago, the Lord brought it to my attention that this life I gave to God seven years ago is not my own. This life belongs to God,
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20)
This year...two thousand fourteen...God opened my eyes to see that this is His life that I am able to be apart of and it's His Presence that I get to enjoy all because He loves.
